Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Another gloomy day today

   Just another gloomy day today that drains me of energy and destroys my happiness. Nothing new there though. My anxiety attacks have gotten much worse too. I've been trying to figure out what triggered the worse attacks to begin and I figured out they started right before Tiffany and I broke up. Not that I'm saying she is the cause of them, but just how I remember it. I've always had anxiety issues, but it as controllable till then. Now I really need some sort of medicine to control them. Some attacks get bad enough I can't go outside at night without my blood pressure skyrocketing.

   On another note, I installed PCLinuxOS 2010.12 on my Dell Latitude D500 laptop. Being a Linux OS based on Redhat at its core, I was pretty skeptical of liking it at all since everything I kno about Linux as a whole is more Debian based. The install was literally painfully slow. Like hour and a half slow. From the live CD wasn't much better either. Slow, buggy, culdn't do much. But it did recognize all my hardware, so it got me intrigued enough to try it. Once the install finished, I rebooted, and botted from the hard disk. Boot time was relatively fast, on par with Ubuntu 10.10 or 11.04. Faster than Windows for sure. Be faster if I installed the speed kernel.

   The one thing I noticed I don't like, and am trying to find a work around for, is no package installer for packages downloaded to the desktop. I had to run Terminal to do that, but it was easy. To install Opera, just took the command in Terminal "rpm -i /path/to/rpm/file". I can live with that. Besides that, flash and java run better than in Ubuntu, along with a smoother experience in total.

   I think I'll be staying with PCLinuxOS for a while now.

   Oh, and another thing. I think Tiffany is still throwing her hissy fit. Every ad I put on Craigslist gets flagged, even though I never break the rules there. Her flagging the ads is the only explanation why every ad gets taken down. And it got worse after she threw her overly childish. But hey, if she's wasting her time flagging them, just means it's her waste of time, not mine. Only takes me a couple seconds to repost an ad. One of my friends suggested the idea she might be doing it because she still wanted to be with me. My instant response without having to think was "Then she fucked up. Shouldn't have done all this in the first place and it would take a miracle for her and I to get back together again." But honestly, other than her being a thief taking my clothes, life's just peachy now. It was fun when it as good, and I'll never forget it, but I've had my fill. If you're reading this Tiffany, I mean no offense but you'll probably take it anyway. I know now to never get with anyone with a religious nutcase family. They seemed to be most of the problem. They never liked me to begin with, and never did till the end. And the grandmother thought she had the right to control everything in everyones lives which was a joke. I seriously put money on it Tiffany's family rode her till she left me. I do know her mom was a good part of that, but going through like 8 marriages (I think that's right.), she's not exactly the kind of person anyone should listen to about anything at all that deals with relationships.

   Anyway, I'm getting bored typing, so I'm going to hop off here and text te new guy I'm talking to back. :) BTW, I've decided I'm straight up gay no. No more bi crap anymore, lol.

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